This morning I ignored the alarm. I just couldn’t do 6 hours sleep two days in a row. I slept until 8am and then got up. It was raining so, I attempted to get on with things, and managed to procrastinate all morning. I had lunch and then procrastinated all the way through the afternoon. My leg muscles are sore and stiff today – did you know that there are muscles on your shins? I didn’t until today. Now, every time I move, I can feel every single one of them in painful detail.
So the long and short of it is that it is now getting dark, and I haven’t been out for a run. How do I feel about this? Honestly, so tired that I want the sofa to absorb me. But I also feel guilty/crummy that I didn’t make it out today. Not only that, I haven’t even come close to hitting my usual step count for the day. I simply haven’t moved. Upgrade the crumminess to low-level shame.
Do I have any excuses for my slackness? Yes. Lots. I’m tired. My other half has gone away for the weekend, and the emptiness of the house is both distracting and absorbing. I have an end of year assignment to do for my part-time degree – it is bothering me, and I know that, because of a three-week contract that I’m about to start, this weekend is the best opportunity to get the bulk of the work done, and the feeling of pressure that this brings is crippling my ability to get started.
How do I respond to my excuses? Well, I could still have gone for a run, even after having had a longer sleep. If I had gone out for a run, it would have loosened up my stiff muscles. If I had gone for a run, it would have cleared my head and probably left me feeling energised in a way that would have prompted me to make myself busy and not feel the emptiness of the house. Coming back energised, I would have probably found getting started on my assignment easier. And as for avoiding starting my assignment, by procrastinating all day, I have wasted one of the four days that I have to make a decent dent in it, thus putting myself under even more pressure. All round counterproductiveness. Ridiculous.
What to do now? Simply, I just have to get on with it – do better tomorrow. So, bath, book, bed – a good night’s sleep and an early start, fully refreshed tomorrow.